Ammë
by Tinorial Peredhil
Summary: It is the anniversary of Celebrían’s passing over the Sea. What happens to the Peredhil family? Can this young human change their outlook on the day, or will he upset them more?


Ammë

Disclaimer: I do not own any of Professor Tolkien's characters. I am not making any money off of this.

Summary: It is the anniversary of Celebrían's passing over the Sea. What happens to the Peredhil family? Can this young human change their outlook on the day, or will he upset them more?

A/N: This story I dedicate to Cassia and Siobhan for their wonderfully inspiring stories and especially Nefhiriel, who showed me that you can be an elite writer without being an author of the Mellon Chronicles. Thank you all, mellyn!

Please note that for all intents and purposes to make this story better fit my plot and be more interesting to you, the fantastic readers, Gilraen died along with Arathorn. Please do not flame me; writer's privilege.

Also, please note that for this story, you are going to need to know some simple elvish words:

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Ada Dad or Daddy

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Ammë Mom

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Tithen muindor Little Brother

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Muindor nín My Brothers

A seven-year-old human wandered through the halls of the Last Homely House. Tonight was not like all the other nights; it never was. Every year on this day, Elrond and his twin sons would sober. The elven Lord would lose his wise and loving composure and would isolate himself from everyone, even the twins. Elladan and Elrohir would lose that mischievous glint in their stormy eyes and would spend most of the day in one twin's room, just sitting there quietly. The twins never do that on any other day unless something horrible happens.

Estel, adopted son of Lord Elrond, had noticed this occurrence since the age of three. He was a very perceptive young boy, growing up amongst elves, and for some reason he had remembered that this always happens. All the other elves in Imladris were reluctant to speak about it, they all acted like nothing was happening and spent their time trying to distract the mortal from his questioning.

Today, he had decided that he was going straight to the top: He was going to ask Ada why every year this happens. The halls were eerily quiet as Estel walked to his elven father's room, the only sound being his small feet pattering along. He stopped at a handsome mahogany door that led to Elrond's room and, without knocking for fear of being sent away, pushed it open with a long Squeak!

"Ada?" his small, uneasy voice rang through the room. Elrond, concerned, lifted himself from his bed and kneeled down in front of his son. It was unusual for Estel to barge into his room without knocking.

"Yes, Estel?" he asked.

"Ada, why are you and Elrohir and Elladan so sad every day?" Estel brought concerned and questioning silver eyes to meet grey ones showing the same emotions.

"What do you mean, Estel? When are we sad?" Elrond sat down on his bed and took the youngster into his strong embrace.

Squirming until he was comfortable, Estel began to explain. "Every year you and Elladan and Elrohir get sad and I wanna know why."

Realization filled Elrond's eyes and he regarded his youngest with a look of sorrow and pride at how well he was being raised thus far. "Estel, you know that once I had a wife? The twins' mother?" The boy nodded. "Well, a few years ago she left, she went to the Undying Lands, where all elves go when it is their time."

Estel bit his lip. "I know. You and Elladan and Elrohir are going to leave me one day to go there," he said in a small voice.

Elrond smiled reassuringly, placing his elegant hand on Estel's shoulder. "Worry not, ion nín, that time will not come for many years yet." Estel smiled and snuggled into the crook of the elven lord's neck.

"Why did the twins' mommy leave, Ada?" he couldn't help asking. It was absurd! Estel had never heard of a parent willingly leaving their children.

"She was injured, young one," Elrond answered and his voice choked. Images that still haunted his dreams were beginning to surface. "Why don't you go play with Glorfindel for a little while?" he offered, desperately trying to hide his weakness from the young mortal.

Estel nodded and left the room, finally knowing _why_ his family needed to be alone.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o o

Eight years had passed and the young boy had matured into an impressionable young man. He was active and legendary with a sword in the nearby town of Men where he enjoyed visiting his friend, Andal.

In fact, that was where he was planning on going right now. Today was the anniversary of Elrond's wife passing across the Sea and Estel planned on giving his family the time they need.

"Estel!" a voice called urgently from the threshold, stopping the to-be-Ranger mid-way in putting on his riding gloves.

"Yes, Galendil?" he called, recognizing the voice.

"Estel," Galendil walked into the hallway, holding a letter in his hand, "this came for you from Andal."

Estel took the letter and his heart sank when he read the contents, his mind racing.

_Estel,_

I know you thought that you were supposed to come here today, and I can only hope that this letter reaches you in time. Something has come up. My mother's sister is very ill and we are going to visit her for the last of her days; Dad is too. No one is going to be home and I didn't have the heart to ask Mother if she would allow you to come here anyway, if only to give your family that 'time'. Maybe we'll get together next week, or whenever I come back. Once again, I'm sorry about this. I hope that everything will be well with your family.

Apologies,

Andal

"Galendil," Estel said as soon as he finished, catching the servant off-guard as he was going to the kitchen.

Galendil turned around. "Yes?"

"Please tell Echuridur that I will not be needing to use Elroch and to please put him back in the stables. Andal will not be home, as something came up. I will be in my room if you need me." With that, Estel nodded his thanks and headed towards his room, wondering idly what he was going to do. He couldn't spar; his brothers were unavailable and he didn't want to make too much noise. He couldn't hunt, Ada didn't think it was safe to let him out on his own at such a young age. Maybe he would try to nap, or raid the kitchen. Whichever proved easiest and most entertaining.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o o

Estel sighed loudly and flopped back on his bed, viciously brushing dark locks of hair out of his face. He had raided the kitchen three times (the cook was beginning to threaten to tell Ada) and sleep evaded him. He was fifteen, growing up with elves. Surely there was something to do!

"I miss her, El," a voice came floating through the wall.

"I do too. I wish Estel could've met her…."

"As do I, but I suppose it's best that she isn't still here. Still here with—" the voice choked and died, leaving a silence that rang so loud that Estel almost covered his ears. His heart broke; he didn't want his brothers to hurt so much. The teen got off of his bed and went into the adjacent bedroom, Elladan's.

"El?" he asked by way of announcing his presence. The twins looked up with identically shocked faces.

"Estel?" Elrohir asked. Both his cheeks were strangely tear-streaked and his eyes red and puffy. Elladan looked no better.

"What are you doing here?" Elladan's voice was raspy. Both elves were deeply embarrassed at their younger brother seeing them in such a vulnerable state. They had thought that he was with Andal.

"Andal's aunt is ill, she will not last long, or so that is how it sounds. He and his family are going to visit her until the end." Elrohir blinked rapidly and turned his head towards the wall so that his baby brother couldn't see the fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. He had just pictured Andal's aunt as Celebrían, and what Estel said hadn't helped.

The young human immediately felt guilty when he saw Elrohir's shoulders give an almost imperceptible shake. He went across the room and lay a hand on the twin's shoulder. "It's okay, El," he said loud enough for both Peredhil to hear. "She's in a better place now, a peaceful place where all elves must eventually go." It felt odd to be the comforter, not the comforted, and to be saying the words that sounded so much like something Elrond would say.

Unexpectedly, Elrohir and Elladan both shook their heads, Elrohir speaking first. "Nay, Estel, it is not okay. We should've saved her."

"We should've been faster. We could have spared her all the pain…." It was Elladan's turn to turn away, so Estel was faced with both of his brothers' backs.

His curiosity peaked against his own good judgment. "What happened to Ammë?" he asked, as much for his own interest as his desperate desire to help clear his brothers' souls. Elladan looked up with disbelieving eyes and Estel was hastily nervous to add in a small voice, "If I may call her Ammë."

Elrohir, too, twisted around. "Yes, you may. Please do. I think Ammë would be honored to have you call her thus. She would've loved you."

"Estel, I don't know if you should know the full horrors of what happened to her so young…" Elladan began slowly.

"Just tell me, El," Estel sat down and stared unblinkingly into the elder twin's eyes. "You may find that I'm not as young as you think."

Both twins smiled at each other, thinking the same thing. He _did_ sound mature and they _always_ judged him by elven time. By the counting of Men, he was almost an adult. _Almost_.

"She was captured by _orcs_," Elrohir said quietly and Estel was sure that he had heard something wrong.

"Orcs?" he whispered in horror. Elrohir nodded seriously, looking as though he would rather be anywhere else in the world than here in this room discussing this particularly hard subject.

"She was with them for far more time than she should have been. Elrohir and I rescued her, but we should have, _could have_, been faster." Elladan looked at his twin and they both nodded once in shame.

"Elladan, Elrohir, if Ammë was captured by…by those spawns of Morgoth, then you surely worked your hardest and fastest to get her out. Be thankful that you did," Estel tried to get through, but there was no destroying grief that had time to boil and multiply. Estel decided to try and get past the imprisonment.

"Did she leave because she wanted to see her parents?"

"No, her parents are Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn of the Golden Wood. She left because she was poisoned and could no longer remain affably on Middle-Earth. We should have gone with her," Elrohir admitted in remorse.

"Don't say that!" Estel snapped, but not harshly. "If you had gone with her, you would have left me! You would have left Ada! We need you!"

"It's not that easy, Estel!" Elladan suddenly said, his tone edged with an ice that Estel knew came from fear and shame, but that didn't soften the verbal blow.

"Then explain it to me. Explain it to _yourselves_ for once," Estel's voice was soft, with an iron edge to it to cover his distress.

Neither twin could speak. What was there to explain? They had failed their mother and there was nothing they could do about it. Did their little brother really want them to admit that over and over again?

"Elladan, Elrohir," Estel laid a hand on each twin's shoulder, pulling them out of their reverie. "I don't want to hear you talk about leaving me ever again, okay? It scares me when you say that. Ammë is happy now and she can wait for you to join her. Please," his eyes pleaded like words could not describe, "don't leave me."

"We could never do that, Estel," Elrohir said softly. "You are a part of our family, we could never tear that apart, it would tear us all."

Estel nodded and smiled as he was pulled aggressively into his elder brothers' embrace. When they extricated themselves from each other, joy had worked itself partly into the elves' eyes. "I'm going to go get you something to eat," Estel said, giving his brothers the look that Elrond gave them when they didn't want to take their medicine.

Elladan nodded. "Thank you, tithen muindor."

With one last look at the previously distraught twins, Estel gently eased the door open and slipped through.

"Eithelwen?" he asked when he saw the housemaid. "Could you please fetch me something for my brothers to eat? I fear that they were up all night and haven't eaten since lunch yesterday."

Eithelwen smiled warmly and her blue eyes twinkled. "Of _course_, young Master, I would be delighted to help you." With that, she scurried off and returned moments later with two plates filled with fruits and breads and leftovers from breakfast.

"Thank you, Eithelwen, you have been a great help."

"I do hope so, Estel. Well, I must be off. Have a great day and come to me if you need anything." She smiled at him one last time and patted him on the head, smoothing down the dark curly locks that she seemed to love so much.

Estel ignored the 'threat to his manhood' at being treated like a cuddly child (he was that in the eyes of the elves, which he continually fought day after normal day) and walked back to Elladan's room, an extra spring in his step. He didn't want to whistle for fear of disturbing his father or some other hard-working elf (Erestor was continually popping up from behind walls when the unfortunate being was passing by).

He opened the door quietly and stuck his head in, only to be greeted by a sight he never thought he would see. Elladan and Elrohir were leaning on each other, glassy eyes fixed on the ceiling of Elladan's room, unmoving. Their breathing was in tune with the other's, nice and steady.

"Sweet dreams, muindor nín," he bid quietly, making sure that he didn't make any noise as he closed the door.

oo o o o o o o o o o o o o

Elladan just couldn't keep his eyes open as he listened to Estel's heavy human footsteps disappear down the hall. He yawned, which caused his twin to yawn, and they went back and forth until Elrohir finally resisted the urge. They leaned back in their chairs and Elrohir rested his head on his older brother's shoulder, his eyes unfixed and staring at the ceiling. Elladan smiled at the sight of his "younger" brother resting, before being overcome by sleep himself.

ooooooooooooooooo

_The stars were twinkling merrily in the sky as beams of light appeared, making both twins' faces glow. Their eyes glittered with joy, for somehow they knew what was happening._

A beautiful she-elf with golden rod hair appeared in the center of the beams, seeming so close that they could touch her. Elrohir stretched out his hand, but he couldn't reach her. His hand swept through the air. The ocean breeze ruffled her silk blue dress as she smiled down at her sons.

"My sons," she said in a voice that could brighten Mordor.

"Ammë," Elladan whispered as Elrohir reached for her again.

"My sons, do not mourn my passing any longer. Soon we will be together again, but I need you to stay strong for your father, for your people, for your sister. Stay with this young human that you have adopted at your brother, he needs you. I have been watching you three and nothing makes my heart happier. Whether you realize it or not, it is helping your hearts heal as well as your father's and even Estel's.

"Do not waste one more day on pointless grieving, treasure the time that you have together. I will always be with you, in your hearts and in your lives. I will see you soon. I love you, my sons!" With that, the breeze swept the beautiful elven queen away and her sons tried desperately to grab her, to hold her one last time.

"We love you, Mother!" Elrohir called.

"We will see you soon!" Elladan added.

"My love is always with you!" was the last thing she called before she was out of eyesight and earshot.

ooooooooooooooooo

Both twins awoke, startled, and stared at each other. Without words, by just the look in his mirror image's eyes, they knew that they had dreamed the same thing. It was real, not a dream. They had spoken to their mother again. They had seen her again. Each went to their respectable rooms and fell asleep with a smile on his face.

ooooooooooooooooo

Elrond could be seen sitting up in bed, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears of happiness. "I love you, fair Celebrían, my beloved. Thank you for your strength. Your presence is always with me," he whispered to the sweet breeze of the night, staring happily at the stars. "Be well. We shall meet again."

ooooooooooooooooo

A/N: Please R&R! I know this wasn't supposed to be up until tomorrow, but I was excited and I couldn't help myself. Once again, thank you Nefhiriel. I hope you enjoyed the story (if you're reading it ).

Please R&R so that I can see if my writing is good and what I can do to improve it. I read this over five times (literally) and I couldn't find a single thing to correct. I want to submit something to a contest and I was thinking that this might be it, so any and all constructive criticism is welcome.

Thank you to all you wonderful readers!


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